My last training
before finishing the 3rd year. It means that I may teach weekly
lessons after this training
and three reports to write. So
this program is important for me to finish the
part of the teacher training, also more important for me, due to my
experience of the last survival in 2011.
What I learned from the Survival 2011
In that year
it was not announced as a Survival. It was a part of the Kyoka-Ho weekend training. On Friday evening, after an intensive
lesson, at 10:30
pm, I thought I could go to bed and rest. Instead we had to prepare
for a walk. A long walk. Backpacks were filled with food, drinks,
rain coast, etc. I like such kind of surprises, so I started with a lot
confidence and the mindset “I will make fun whatever will come
on my path”.
But the night was dark, very dark, very very dark and I was really
proud, I guess now. To the person with whom I was walking and talking
moment, I did not mention my fear. I did not talk about it, I kept it
and cramped a muscle in my left leg and could not finish the walk with
whole group. Afterwards I realized
I had to share this fear. It was and it is not
weak to share my fear.
Now this program was
announced as Survival in an
unexpected environment, so I expected another night walk and mentally I
kind of prepared. For 9 days I was already living in the dojo and did
fasting training, study of bhanda
and corrective exercises. The survival I started with this recognition
fear in the dark. When there was the possibility of lending a torch
dojo, I took immediately the opportunity to share my fear with the
felt good. But I still had to go through it. After the warming up exercises in the dojo I was really
tired, so I was
When we walked on the Summerpath, a quiet dark path at night, only 5 minutes walking
from the dojo, Saara took my hand. We continued together
hand-in-hand, and that brought me back a memory of my childhood. I
think I was
12 years old. Summer holiday in Italy with my parents. In a beautiful
evening, my sister and I went for a walk on the beach. All of the
out of the dark, there was a man playing with his sexual organ coming
direction. We ran away. Nothing really happened but the fear was
spoke about it with Saara. That was good, just at the beginning of the
At the same time I had my mantra “don’t
force, don’t waist, continue”.
The first two are the most important to me. So I walked my own path
consciously and that was good.
In the open field or on the road, where cars could ride
as well, the
darkness was OK for me. The most scary was walking in the wood where it
completely dark. There, partially I was happy with my torch ….
It did not take away
my fear, the fear was bearable, it was there and it was allowed to be
(wow)! And ... I
saw dark men everywhere ... My body kept going
well. I enjoyed seeing that at 2 am. There was light
again on the horizon, although the day really started about 5 am when
first birds began to sing. I enjoyed the silence and I enjoyed talking,
were really tired, so tired that I was like sleep walking. Talking kept
awake, I noticed, and drew away the attention of the body.
Then I felt
tired and less stiff. During the sleep
walking stage, just before dawn,
people everywhere: a woman on a bike, somebody sitting on a bench next
road. That was really weird! Of course there was nobody. When we talked
that sleep walking moment later, I heard from some people that they had
The stops were all
very nice, thanks to the bad weather forecast! The
first was on the road with good exercises led by Scott. The second was
Ronald’s house. How lucky and cozy doing yoga next to the
fireplace. The third
one, there was day light again and we “hang-out” in a
haystack, which was great,
and we could go to a real toilet. And then we, the women, could sleep
in a real
bed, I felt so spoilt! But that feeling was completely gone, when we
had to wake up after
only 40 minutes’ sleep. I could hit everybody. I was so irritated.
We continued with do-in exercises under the guidance of
Scott. Thank you
so much! The exercises changed my mood again in the positive way. My
mind were together in one line again. This was a beautiful experience!
Just before leaving again I stimulated the ashi-no- sanri
point on my each leg. This point is often treated in
located in the superior edge where tibia and fibula meet each other, as
indicated as the 36th point of the stomach meridian. The
tells that, in the former times, the rickshaws pressed these points
were tired. San means 3 and ri means
4km in Japanese, so they could
walk another 12 kilometers.
I just continued, trying not to waist energy
or force and that
went fine, although I felt my body protesting: knees and hips,
my feet fortunately. We started to sing, to be less focused on
When we arrived at the finish I felt satisfied, I made
it. We had walked
37 km from Friday 11 pm. till Saturday 12.15 pm. Katrien took care of
us as a
mum and brought us some strawberries.
But this was not all.
Knowing Ronald as an okido teacher for 7 years
now, I was not surprised there was another challenge to go before we
lunch. The finish was a climbing place in the woods. Wow, what a
place and very professional explanation how to climb from tree to tree,
safe with harness and lines. I just continued although I was not really
mood. You feel strange after walking all
night and then going to a climbing place. In the beginning it was very
difficult to keep focused on the explanation. It was for my
safety, but it was hard to understand. I heard what the woman said, but
not really come to my brain. So, it was very good we first had to
climbing with the instructor.
The first thing to climb was for me high enough and I
felt I was afraid
of the height. But then almost immediately, I thought, “With this
harness I am
safe, I cannot fall, and I will only hang there, which is made for the
there is nothing to worry about. The fear was gone and
to concentrate fully to get to the other side. It was amazing, I did
to the ground, I was aware of the fact that I did not feel any pain or
stiffness, climbing from one tree to another. That was a very
experience. When we came to the third height level, it was enough for
was really too high. I was considering to do another track, where you
slide from tree to tree like Tarzan, which was fun. Then the fellow
with whom I had worked during the preparing exercises for the walk,
and he needed to cry on my shoulder. I had come to a point that
OK. We sat in silence, he talked and it was OK. We had a cup of tea
others who had stopped already and it was OK.
Again I felt spoilt during the lunch at Ronald’s
house. I was hungry at
2:15 pm. Kyoko, his wife, cooked a delicious and abundant meal.
all felt a beautiful harmonious family lunch.
When we arrived at the dojo at 4 pm, I thought,
‘Fine, we now do the sharing.
I pack my things. We drink some tea together and I can leave the dojo
at 5 pm.
That’s it. My 3rd year will be completed
…’ NO WAY! We had to go
again to the dojo for exercises …. I was fed up. It was really
enough and my
eyes were filled with tears. But then there was Katrien again and she
to come, saying that it would be OK. And yes, it was OK doing our own
stretching and then doing shiatsu together. That was good!
At 5 pm we finished and then we shared our experiences.
That was the
best part! (I could not imagine that sharing would become a favorite of
mine.) While the other persons were telling their experiences, suddenly
that there was another scary event I experienced in the dark: 15 years
night, after a long day working and a meeting with the whole company, I
robbed by a dark man who had threatened me with a big knife at the
After that happened, I had stayed at home from work for a
week, I had not
dared to go alone to the supermarket in front of my house during day
time (!), and
so a friend of mine had had to come to go with me.
For a year or so, I had been really
dark men, especially at night
time. But the fear had faded away. It had not stayed active in the
where I had lived at that time as there had been hardly any dark
memory had moved from the new layer of my brain to the old layers
and other body
and it had seemed that I had forgot it. But I had not. This robbery
fear had been the
fear what I had been feeling during the survival in the darkness. And
experience explained why I saw dark men everywhere in the wood.
This was the biggest revelation I had. I was very
grateful for it when I
left the dojo much later than I hoped I would leave. And still I am
for this experience, although I still can feel the fear and the
I am writing these words down. I am really looking forward
to the next time. Thank you
so much. It was
a lot this time!!!
After this 10 day retreat I feel different! More stable,
more united, willing to practice and learn from my own practice,
willing to eat
differently, willing to be soft with strength deep inside and go with
It is amazing, but it is true. Thank you, truly!
night walk 2014
with Ronald Boin
Fri June 27 (20:30) Sat 28 (13:00)