This week was very difficult. In general
cannot say that I enjoyed it very much, it was a struggle to continue.
parts of the day I felt tired and heavy, and didn't feel like going to
classes or lectures. When I was physically tired and heavy, also my
tired and heavy and quickly irritated. Sometimes I felt physically less
and then also my mind was happier and relaxed.
This experience has been a
confirmation for me of the holistic nature of human beings and
particularly of well-being. Even though most of the time
not feel very good this week, the experience of my well-being going up
and the connection it showed between my physical and mental experience
positive perspective for the future. Namely, that taking care of
finding a better balance in terms of food and exercise, can have a very
powerful effect, also for your thoughts and feelings.
In daily life my negative
thoughts and feelings bother me more than my physical discomforts (even
I am not super healthy, I experience my physical discomforts as minor
discomforts). Of course, studying and training your mind can be useful
important. For me, so far, this has not been as effective as I would
is why I am hopeful when I notice what a difference my physical
make also for my mental/emotional well-being.
I think that in daily life I tend
to overeat and this has a very negative influence on my
know that it is best to accept that change can often only happen
that we should allow ourselves that time and patience.
It was very nice of Anna
(member of the staff) to point that out. I think that two days of
should be very doable for me, with a bit of effort and planning. Maybe
every week, but at least once a month or every few weeks. I would
really like to continue this study
and see what repetition does to my body. I hope that with time, my
will decrease, and I will feel better what my body really needs, and
will desire these things.
Something that I take from this week is
the wisdom that
you should not determine what is good for you just by thinking and
to fixed ideas. I think my attitude towards what is good for me is
often a bit
too "rational", and that this results in forcing ideas and plans for
life-style on myself that do not work. This then leaves me frustrated
and disappointed in myself.
Another wisdom that I take from this week
(a bit related to the one I just mentioned) comes from a lecture of
Master Oki that I (re)read here - it got its real meaning for me after
the dancing session with Anneke (member of the staff). Master Oki said
something like that we should not try to imitate him, that he realised
his own nature, that he only does what he does because this is what he
really wants. He did not set himself rules and then followed them, but
he found who he really was and went all the way in allowing himself to
be that way, and not any other way because of politeness or
expectations of others. This indicates
that Oki yoga and the Oki yoga
is less fixed than I maybe sometimes think. Even though we get offered
particular things here at the dojo, which fit into a certain frame,
not mean that we should see this as an end goal, something that we should mold
our lives into. Rather, we are obliged to our own
life-force to see our
training here as a means, a way to become stronger and learn through
This should help us discover our own nature and build the strength, wisdom and
flexiblity to realise our own nature.
This will not be easy, since in society
there are very strong structures and institutes that tend to guide us
behaviour, and that structure how we think we should live.
Of course we do not
all have to go as far as Master Oki did. I think it is okay if we make
compromises with the culture we live in and the people and customs that
surround us. But it would be good to be more conscious of this and to
freedom to shape our own life and person, instead of letting ourselves
guided by fixed ideas of who we are and who we should be, and how we
live our lives.
I am very grateful for everything in my
life, but I tend to
forget about this freedom and have fixed ideas of what makes me happy
should be my direction in life. This results in me forgetting about or
neglecting sides of myself that don't always fit naturally in the
my life right now, like my wilder and more spontaneous side, which
comes out when I dance in a place where I feel I can really let go.
After the dancing
session with Anneke I realised that part of what is keeping me from
this side develop and manifest itself, is fear. I should not run from
fear, it is also part of life-force and if you face it, it can bring
The next Non-salt Half Fasting training will be 29 April
- 6 May 2016, which will be a part of Laren